By Kenton Wu and Camellia Ye
The Wheatley Wildcat: a Pulitzer prize paper in the making
You are reading our work right now. We encourage you to check out our other content as well, including polls, exposes, features, cartoons, crossword puzzles, and MEMES. If you want to be a part of this, join us every Monday after school in the IMC. Not convinced yet? You’ll regret it once we win the Pulitzer.
Art Club: unleash your inner artíste
Sketch and paint to your heart’s content within the walls of of the 300s corridor. What you discover is up to you.
Book Club: books are our best friends
Book Club offers a very open, friendly environment for book lovers to discuss and bond over the assigned books. The club plans a lot of fun activities, such as meeting the author of a book they read, playing board games, planning movie nights, and more! Last year after reading Wonder, the club took its members to watch the movie based on the book in theater.
C.A.R.E. Club: we wear pink
C.A.R.E stands for Cancer Awareness Research and Education. CARE Club’s biggest event is its fashion show, of which the proceeds go towards Sunrise Rise Day Camp, the world’s only dedicated camp for children suffering from cancer, provided free of charge.
Chess Club: where kings and queens are born
Under the direct tutelage of Grandmaster Stan Orlovsky, the Wheatley Wizards convene after school Wednesdays in the orchestra room in order to hone their abilities… or debate Russian politics with the master himself.
DECA: businessmen in training
DECA is one of Wheatley’s largest clubs and is always looking for more dedicated members. DECA offers a lot of opportunities to win awards and gain recognition. The club’s purpose is to prepare students to become leaders and entrepreneurs. Last year, it sent one student to an international competition held in Atlanta.
Environment Action Committee (EAC):
When the average Wheatley student thinks of EAC, she thinks, “EAC will be recycling today. Please put your bins in the hallway,” but EAC does much more than that. Its biggest event of the year is EarthFest. On this day you can pet exotic animals in the auditorium, make seed bombs in the lobby, eat vegan banana ice cream, buy punny Earth-themed shirts, and win a Hydro Flask. EAC uses the money it makes to buy containers to send bikes over to Africa.
Grade Student Governments: Wheatley’s real government
Student Government exists for one purposes: to (ideally) win Showdown and somewhere along the way promote class unity. For eighth graders, Showdown is a week of mostly contained civil war amongst the grades. During the week, student governments are responsible for organizing this fight and making their grade look good. No matter how hard you try, you can’t beat the system. Showdown is rigged. Last year the administration made large changes to the structure of government, and most people still have no clue what’s going on and who their president is.
Gay Straight Alliance (GSA)
GSA provides a safe and supportive environment for LGBTQ youth and a platform to promote acceptance. They organize the Day of Silence, a day when students can refuse to talk, symbolizing the silence LGBTQ youth face from intolerance.
Inter-Cultural Unity: celebrate the rainbow of cultures
ICU is proud to be one of the largest clubs in Wheatley. On the Friday before holiday break, there is an entire day dedicated to ICU and its mission: to promote unity and understanding between all cultures. After a cultural performance that in past years included fan dancing, Italian music, a K-Pop dance featuring our very own Kenton Wu, and a crowd-pleasing, skin-baring dance by the all-male German Shepherds, there is a fashion show displaying different countries’ style of clothing and a luncheon where you get to eat everything from mac and cheese to samosas to sushi.
Kenton Wu Appreciation (KWA):
KWA meets every afternoon and Sunday morning to celebrate their leader, Kenton Wu. At their meetings you can expect to partake in daily candle lighting for their idol’s altar, sacrifice a volunteer to their lord and savior, and arrange petitions to turn the name Kenton Wu into an adjective (i.e. kentonize, to make awesome and superior to all else). Their club mission is to clone Kenton and bring about the robot revolution.
Language Clubs: embrace the world
Wheatley boasts three language clubs: French, Spanish, and Italian. At their meetings and field trips, they celebrate and share their respective cultures. This involves selling crepes, watching Italian films, taking Spanish dance lessons, visiting Eataly, and going to cooking classes. Members in the club may have the opportunity to go on trips abroad to Italy, Spain, and France. These clubs are known for drawing in prospective members with food. Will you be ensnared?
Mathletes: lots of numbers and variables
Mathletes is straightforward, we live, breath, and play math in multiple competitions and tournaments throughout the year.
Mock Trial: role playing in professional clothes
Members of Mock Trial simulate what it’s like to be any player in a court case. During the preparation time, members get themselves ready for trials given by the New York Bar Association as a witness or attorney. When competition season arrives, the club goes to the court house almost every Wednesday to perform.” It sounds pretty serious, and it is…rarely. According the club president Jacob Ribotsky, “We mostly fool around and procrastinate until the week of the trial. That’s when the grind comes.” Mock and Roll!
Science Olympiad: we study in our spare time
Do you want to cram random knowledge about amphibians or the human body? Do you want to demonstrate your proficiency and win awards at competitions? Then SCIOLY is the club for you. Here you choose a subject, such as “Hovercraft” or “Dynamic Planet,” and spend the rest of your time studying. The club’s aim is to go to regionals with its A and B team, and possibly make states.
Stage Crew: the men behind the scenes
You might not see the stage crew members, but they are present at every single one of Wheatley’s events from the WTC’s play to TRI-M’s music competition. They are busy setting up mics, doing the lights, and carrying stands on the stage, making sure everything runs smoothly for the main event. Sometimes stage crew members upstage the actual performs as they come out from the curtains in their black attire to whistles and cries of “We love you, X!”
STEPPS/ Connections Club: forging bonds
At STEPPS/Connections Club meetings you get to work with the students in the life skills program and help with improving socialization skills. The club holds several dances throughout the year, which are infamously publicized by Mr. Orlovsky’s hilarious video productions on the morning news.
Student Senate: Wheatley’s own shadow government
Student Senate is perhaps the most powerful school entity that you have never heard of. The reason for this is that this club is relatively new. Thanks to the powerful jumpstart by the fierce club advisor, Ms. CB, Senate has been busy doing all sorts of things around the school. From the mouth of an anonymous treasurer, the club is estimated to have a bank account of around $20,000. With this amount of money and the power it has from having a direct line to the school administration, the club’s influence is undeniable. Whatever improvements the board can imagine are delivered. Need more pep at pep rallies? Buy a t-shirt cannon.
Tri-M: the crème de la crème
If you’ve been in Wheatley for any period of time, then you have definitely heard of Tri-M or felt its presence. It organizes two of the largest annual Wheatley events—Wheatley Idol and Wheatley’s Got Talent—with complete ease due to its extraordinary manpower and organization. At the end of the year, the club donates its earnings to charities that support music. If you’re thinking, “I want in!” don’t. It’s an invite-only party. To qualify, one must be in a music program at school and demonstrate dedication to their craft.
Video Club: Wheatley’s documentarians
The Video club is present at every major Wheatley event from sport games to the ICU assembly to Wheatley theater productions. You might see their footage on the morning news announcements or Dr. Feeney’s blog, the Wheatley Way.
Vintage: an oasis for dreamers
It’s Monday. It jolts you from your warm weekend haze like a bucket of ice water. You are jostled from class to class to find yourself, already soaked and shivering, now burdened by 10 buckets of work. At the same time, a world of tranquility exists in room 114. There, the only sounds that can be heard are the soothing scratchings of pens and the dulcet tones of the cello. Welcome to Vintage. Vintage is a place where you can share your secret dreams and uncover your troubles in a safe writing environment. And it’s not just for writers.
Wheatley Theatre Company: the show must go on
The WTC holds two performances each year: a play in the fall and a musical in a spring. In previous years it has put on Into the Woods, You Can’t Take it With You, Xanadu, and The Arabian Nights. The club is a group of quirky and dramatic students who become as close as a family. If you’re thinking you can’t act or sing for your life, don’t worry! There is a place for everyone. You could play a tree or a shrub, or you could work backstage helping the actors with their costumes and makeup.
World Affairs Club/Model UN: where coups are planned and politicians are born
If you’re not in Model UN, you probably think, “What’s all the fuss with this club?” At the club fair MUN can guarantee to get at least 70 sign ups from unsuspecting 8th graders. On some days members strut through the halls in their suits and blazers. At meetings, you can expect to listen to a presentation on a pressing event going on somewhere in the world and debate about the issue afterwards. The club’s greatest pride is their overnight trip to a MUN conference (this year it is at UPenn), where they discuss politics with other schools.
Robotics: preparing for when robots become self-aware
The Robotics Club sends its members to competitions where their robot faces off with others. The team spends months designing and perfecting a robot that does a particular task. They need members with all sorts of abilities from coding to engineering. Robotics competitions are extremely fun and fast-paced.
Quiz Bowl: trigger-happy trivia nerds
People press the other team’s buttons as they slam on their buzzers to answer first. Quiz Bowl is a fast-paced trivia match between two teams of four people, team jeopardy essentially. You can compete in more specific competitions such as History Bowl and Science Bowl, but no matter what you do, always be ready to buzz in.